⛏️ The Minecraft Movie Reviews Are In — But Maybe We’re Forgetting Something?
So, the Minecraft movie is here — and if you've checked the reviews, you’d think it was the cinematic equivalent of stepping on a LEGO barefoot.
Critics are calling it "a plotless pixel soup," "fan service in square form," and my personal favorite, “a pickaxe to the soul.” And maybe they’re right. Maybe it is chaotic. Maybe it does rely on nostalgia and merchandising. But let me gently ask…
Since when did we start expecting a masterpiece from a movie based on a video game where you can punch a tree into submission?
Maybe he didn’t just regret Garfield?
🧒 Childhood Favorites That Wouldn’t Survive Rotten Tomatoes
Let’s time travel for a moment.
You remember Space Jam? Objectively speaking, it's a fever dream of 90s product placement, a plot that makes no sense, and acting that could be generously described as "basketball-adjacent."
And we loved it.
Or The Super Mario Bros. movie from 1993? Critically panned, narratively bizarre, and yet somehow etched into our collective memory as sacred chaos.
So why is it that now, as adults, we expect Minecraft: The Movie to have the character depth of The Godfather and the emotional resonance of The Iron Giant?
Maybe it’s not the movies that are off.
Maybe we forgot how to watch like kids.
Jack Black takes a moment to think about the roles his agent gets him.
🎞️ It’s Not for You (And That’s Okay)
Here’s the thing: Minecraft is one of the most beloved games on the planet — not because it has lore or emotional arcs (though it can) — but because it lets kids play. Build. Explore. Be weird little geniuses in pixelated worlds of their own making.
So the movie? It’s not for you, 34-year-old man named Jeremy who once cried during Blade Runner 2049 and now thinks a Creeper joke is “cinematic laziness.”
It’s for the 9-year-old who just watched their favorite blocky YouTuber get turned into a movie star and can’t wait to wear a diamond helmet to the cinema.
🤔 Are We Over-Criticizing Fun?
There’s this growing trend where every kids’ film is expected to secretly cater to adults. To sneak in social commentary, Pixar-level sob sessions, or callbacks to franchises from our youth.
But sometimes, a movie doesn’t want to say anything.
Sometimes, it just wants to explode a TNT block and ride a pig into the sunset.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Imagine if the same director made Sonic.
🧠 Nostalgia Isn’t Meant to Be Re-Reviewed
A lot of us are now revisiting childhood properties as adults — and discovering they don’t always hold up. (*Looking at you, Street Sharks.)
But that doesn’t mean they were “bad.” It just means we’ve changed.
These types of low-quality fairground ride movies have always existed and they will forever more.
So when we watch the Minecraft movie and go “ugh, that plot made no sense,” maybe we should also ask: “Did Power Rangers: Turbo make any sense either?”
(Answer: No. Still iconic.)
One of my critically-panned guilty pleasures, alongside Hook and Popeye.
💬 Final Thought: Sometimes Silly Is Sacred
Not every movie has to “elevate the genre.” Some are just meant to be chaotic joy in visual form. Minecraft isn’t trying to win an Oscar. It’s trying to make your kid laugh so hard they drop their popcorn. And maybe, just maybe, remind you of what it felt like to watch something with wide eyes instead of a red pen.
So sure, roll your eyes at the bad reviews. Just don’t forget — somewhere out there, a child is watching their blocky world come to life for the first time.
And to them?
It’s not cringe.
It’s magic.
